The question is one of fundamental principles. The question is to decide whether there are any fundamental principles. The answer of course is an obvious no. It is one of those rare questions that I can readily decide. But the trouble is, it is hard to get that across to you.
I was never a big MJ fan. I had watched some of his videos, the standard ones. I had not retained any distinct impressions of them. And looking back at my tender age at that time, and the fact that I was a conformist not by choice, I can't say I am responsible for that. The last time I watched any of his videos was probably ten years ago (and I would be 14 then). By that time the 1993 American Music Awards performance of Dangerous had already taken place; an auditorium packed with people had been enthralled beyond redemption. They had experienced something so violently magical that the impression would last them a lifetime. But I did not know about it then. I was unaware that the last great and hopeless attempt at putting an order back into things had already begun. You can take this as an overstatement, but I won't change it. A thanks is meant to be an overstatement, even when it is sincere.
For the last ten years I had not heard anything about Jackson (except for some occasional reports of pedophilia and monetary debts, which I did not understand). I had all but forgotten about him. When I came across the news of his death, I had a strange feeling. Some old and confused memories came back to me. I wish I could say that an age had ended, and indeed some would say exactly that, but that is not the case. MJ was neither constitutive nor a representative of our age. He wasn't a prophet of our times, at best he was an anti-prophet.
I started going through his videos again, one by one. It became a journey of discovery for me, a discovery of what was not to be, of what was impossible. I got hooked to the impossibility. Impossibility has a truth of its own, because it is the most fundamental form of unreality. And our age, though not innocent, and certainly not impossible, is nevertheless unreal. Impossibility forms both the foundations and the boundaries of the unreal. An interest in the world at large necessitates an interest in the unreal, which should bring up the question of impossibility.
When I was a kid, the people around me had little concern for MJ. I grew up in a general air of scorn for innocence. As I said, our times are not innocent times, and it would certainly be inappropriate to grow up innocently, and I am grateful to my folks for not letting me do that. Today I am trying to arrive at an understanding of the world as it is, but nevertheless, I would like to say that the relevance of the impossible is insufficiently understood by our modern intellects. Certainly our major concern is with the possible, or even the probable, but I cannot imagine a definition of myself that at least does not pay a sincere homage to the impossible. For it is likely that we shall all collide with the impossible someday. And it is important to know the true nature of what we are colliding with, of what posits a likely risk for us, of what can catch us unaware some day, and run us down. Impossibility also has a close connection to what we call the 'rational', and who would deny that the rational is an important idea for us? Impossibility has several links with the possible, and they are waiting to be discovered by us. Perhaps we could start with MJ...........or, on second thoughts, we could just let him go.
I never experienced any innocence in my own actions, but I seem to have some pristine memories of it. But those memories are not nostalgic, because they do not relate to any real experiences. [I like to think that MJ related to his childhood in a similar way; but that is impossible, isn't it, MJ?] That is why my relation to innocence is unconditional, I can think about it without giving myself up; in other words, there is a sense of objectivity in my perception of innocence. But it is my personal objectivity, and I cannot do much to express that in a piece of writing like this. For example, if I tell you that the nature of innocence is in the form of a dance movement, something that a confused (and euphoric) audience witnessed at the 1993 American Music Awards, would that make any sense to you? Wittgenstein, one of those rare geniuses of clarity, once made a famous proclamation: "Whereof we cannot speak, thereof we must remain silent". I guess he was right about it. I should remain silent.
But this article is not about impossibility or innocence, it is about MJ, and fundamental principles. So I ought to write something about them before I end this. The fact is, people love to talk, and to theorize, and will continue to do so forever. I am a fine example of this human fallibility. Mr. Jackson, I know you will find it hard to believe, but I can assure you hat there are no fundamental principles, except the ones we personally invent to keep track of things. So let us talk and theorize, let us go on about it indefinitely, it doesn't matter.
Rest in peace.
...........
[ I owe my acknowledgments for this piece to the following.
1) A certain friend from school, in a quite personal way.
2) A readable expression on Janet Jackson's face on a particular evening.
3) My childhood, and MJ's. A tribute to difference.]
